A Retrospective Reflection on Writing
I recently discovered a personal essay that I had written almost 13 years ago. I came across it while going through a box of personal items in search of an old manuscript. I was surprised to discover that I had also submitted it to a writing contest. I do not remember the essay or the submission. It was strange to see my life on a page and have no recollection of authoring it.
Stitches of Tradition and Love had been submitted to the RCWMS Essay Contest on November 14, 2005. I had evidence of my submission — a cover letter that was included with the essay. I wondered, Who is RCWMS? I googled their website to rediscover the Resource Center for Women & Ministry in the South, Inc. Their address was the same as the one on my letter and even now, there was a link to an essay contest. Apparently, all of this really happened.
Reading through Stitches of Tradition and Love, there was a lot more that I could do with the essay. It would be a great essay to rework and publish on Medium. It would be easy except that I couldn’t find an electronic copy. More truthfully, I didn’t know where to begin looking. I wasn’t sure which storage device I was using in 2005 for my writing. It may have been on an old laptop, CD, thumb drive or even a floppy disk. All I had was the hard copy. I would need to retype 1257 words — not difficult, but certainly annoying.
As I began to type, I could see the value in how I expressed myself at that time. I would keep the words as written.With each retyped word, I fought off a deep desire to edit along the way. I included a disclaimer at the end to inform readers that this was a product of my former self.
I considered submitting the essay to a Medium publication. I would expect that any Medium editor (in their right mind) would suggest edits, make edits or reject it. Instead, I posted it from my own Medium account. This made sense to me as I was taking full ownership of the unadulterated essay.
There’s a lot to learn from revisiting one’s writing retrospectively. Mostly, I can see how much I’ve grown as a writer. Stitches easily could have been freed of at least 500 words. Sentences could have been shortened and others done away with completely. Words could have been used more effectively. This was long before I knew how to use listening as part of writing process. The essay isn’t horrible (says the author) but I can see why my genius was not recognized by RCWMS at that time. To look at my work in an editorial way, with some detachment, demonstrates progress as a writer.
I was surprised that my voice — so clear to me now — was present back then. The essence of who I am was evident, despite the inefficient use of words. I had a distinct point of view. It was satisfying to read the essay and realize, Hey…I know that woman!
The essay reminded me of how often I’ve written about my family. It would be easy to see this as an exercise in preserving family legacy. I see it more as observation — a stepping away from in order to have a better understanding of self. At the same time, it is very personal. I feel a deep sense of pride — proud to have the ability to record my family traditions, proud to have worthy traditions to record and proud to have family.
As much as I may believe that I am a writer, there’s no proof of it until I get it down on paper. Not only did I manage to get something written and completed, I went a step further and submitted it to a writing contest. If nothing else, the essay was an early declaration that I am a writer.
“Words — so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.” Nathaniel Hawthorne
No matter where we are in our writing journey, there’s value in submitting our stories for critique and contests. There’s no guarantee of success, validation or even the slightest bit of acknowledgment of our efforts. Yet — we dare to send our work out into the world with the hopes that it will land somewhere. In the process, we are learning, expressing and growing.
Along the way, we will look back (intentionally or by chance) at our earlier work. We will discover that the work of our former selves is just as valid as the work of our latter selves. Unedited and perfectly imperfect, Stitches of Tradition and Love is in honor of the writer I was, the writer I am and the writer I hope to be.
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” ― Anaïs Nin
The Writing Cooperative is sponsored by
Grammarly makes sure everything you type is easy to read, effective, and mistake-free. Take your writing to a new level. Try it for free!
