SOLITUDE- EMBRACED, LONELINESS- RESENTED
I don’t remember if I found this phrase on the internet or i wrote it on my own
As a kid i used to play on my own when everyone else at home dozed off in the afternoons. i remember my parents asking me what i did all by myself. I’ve always enjoyed having some time all by myself. This continued even when i got into college. As my home was far away from college, I used to be alone in my room for a few weekends. And my friends wondered how I spent my day ALL ALONE!
I loved it. I had ‘my time’. I used to read some novels without people interrupting me, clean my room, and watch some movies.
I realized what those days meant only a few months ago when my best friends were going home for the weekend asking me to take care. They were scared I would cry and grieve. That’s because my first love broke up with me just a few weeks before that. I didn’t want to be sad. I tried to keep myself busy and i was doing fine till I tried to sleep. The memories, the tears and the pain came back. That’s when i wrote that note.
I still fear staying alone, scared i would think about him and put myself through lot of pain. i read somewhere ‘loneliness is a good feeling when it is created by ourself. But it is the worst feeling when gifted by others’. i haven’t spent time alone since then.