What are you so afraid of?
Being vulnerable sucks
Interviewer: “Tell me about one of your weaknesses.”
Job Interviewee (who thinks they’re being sneaky): “I would say that one of my weaknesses is being a perfectionist…”
It’s funny that so many people use “perfectionist” as their answer to the common “weakness” interview question in attempt to disguise what they actually feel is a strength. Most interviewers can see right through this.
But here’s the thing, is being a perfectionist really an admirable quality that job interviewees should being trying to mask as a weakness, or is it actually a legitimate weakness?
Perfectionism limits creativity and hinders your growth as a writer
For years I labeled myself as an aspiring writer. I wrote in the privacy of my personal journal and saved drafts on my computer. I was afraid to publish anything because it wasn’t “perfect.”
The idea of perfect was a safety blanket. Not putting my work out there until it was just right seemed logical. Having perfection as my goal made me feel like I was pursuing something noble.
However, the truth is, setting good goals and perfectionism are two completely different things. Setting goals can help us grow. Perfectionism is toxic.
- Striving for perfect prevented me from taking risks and growing.
- The desire for perfect caused me to mentally raise the stakes of the creative endeavor I was pursuing to an unreasonable level, stressing me out and leaving me deeply unhappy.
- Having the goal of perfect paralyzed me from taking any meaningful action.
I was afraid of being judged. I was afraid of not being good enough. I was afraid of being vulnerable.
Are you afraid of being vulnerable?
What if you submit your story to a publication and they reject you?
What about that novel you have been working on? What if publishers think it won’t sell?
What if what you created doesn’t resonate with people the way you’d hoped and you are criticized?
What if you turn out not to be the writer you hoped you were?
Being vulnerable sucks, but what’s really the worst that could happen?
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable by putting your creative work into the world to be judged, only to have it rejected, criticized, or made fun of sucks. So why should we even bother?
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” ― Brené Brown
It may hurt, but you owe it to your creative self to be vulnerable. If you do, what’s really the worst that could happen?
You might get rejected.
You might be judged by your peers, friends, family, community, readers, and critics.
You might find out you’re not as good as you thought.
So what? You aren’t going to die! You aren’t going to starve! You aren’t going to be left with nothing!
“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: ‘Is this the condition that I feared?’” ― Seneca
So, you may get rejected… but you also get to learn and grow. Your writing ability, as with a creative skill, isn’t fixed. Take every opportunity, every rejection, every criticism as a chance to get better.
Don’t be afraid.
What’s the best that could happen?
Fear of vulnerability and rejection can paralyze you if you allow it. If your goal is to avoid feeling like you got punched in the stomach when someone says your work isn’t good enough, then you are golden. But if your aspirations are a bit higher than that, you must embrace vulnerability.
The world needs our ideas, our creativity, our irrational thoughts, our passion, and all those characters running around our minds waiting to be given life.
We might be rejected, but we need to try.
If you found value in reading this, please consider giving it a clap or two.
James is the Editor of Life in Story.
You can follow James on Twitter at @iamjameskenichi.
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